Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Recommended Books- His Needs, Her Needs

Building an Affair Proof Marriage

There are so many marriage books on the market now. You can even say it’s become a fad to read them. But I thought this was one different. To me- this book was incredible. It gives such insight into how the opposite sex thinks and feels. It gives such power to the hands of the reader. How many books do that?

I’m sure many were turned off by the title. Well, the subtitle- “Building an Affair Proof Marriage.” No one wants to think that it’s possible for their spouse to cheat. And picking up a book of these sorts? Well, the idea goes through your head once…or twice (and by that I a lot more than twice). But if you can get past that, there are so many little jewels of information that you can take away and put to use immediately.

I don’t mean to make this book sound like it’s a cure-all for those with serious marriage problems. It’s meant to help before things become serious. But yes, everyone can read this book, and take away valuable information that will be beneficial no matter where you are in your journey with your spouse.

Short Overview-
Basically there are 10 (most common) needs for men and women. When listing those needs, men put one set of five needs at the top of their list, while women choose the other five. This proves the theory (because of the needs chosen most important to them) that men are more visual beings and women are emotional beings. The author then goes on to talk about each genders top five, why they are important to that person, and how to meet the need. A couple is vulnerable to an affair when one spouse has needs that are continually unmet, and someone else begins meeting that need.

To make something clear-
The author does not condone having an affair. Nor does he blame the spouse when one occurs. His purpose of this book is to educate people how differently men and women think and feel. It’s because of this difference that we often don’t understand each other, and as a result, don’t always know how to meet each other’s needs. Thus the door is open for an affair. That doesn’t mean your spouse will fall into the trap though. Many spouses suffer through years in a marriage where their needs are not being met, and yet remain faithful. But doesn’t sound like a win-win either.

It’s such a great feeling, to understand my husband more and what makes him tick. And how thankful we are, to be able to meet each other’s needs. Not that we’re perfect at it, but it’s a work in progress!

Recommended for: Engaged to be married couples, anyone married

Have YOU read this book? What did you think?

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